Dear Ex
先に愛した人
Storyline
The whole story, ending included.
A widow discovers her husband left his insurance to his male lover; their teenage son moves in with him.
When Song Zheng-yuan dies, his wife, Liu San-lian, finds that he changed his life insurance before the end. The money she had counted on for their son's future now goes to Jay, a theatre director and the man Zheng-yuan left his family for. San-lian storms round to Jay's flat with their teenage son, Cheng-xi, and demands it back. Jay, who seems careless and says he knew nothing about the policy, refuses.
Cheng-xi, who tells the story, is sure his mother cares only about money. After she throws out his father's things and they fight, he moves in with Jay, who does not want him. He trails Jay to rehearsals of the play Jay is directing and slowly sees that the man is not carefree at all but grieving. Flashbacks show Jay and Zheng-yuan falling in love in the theatre years before, and Zheng-yuan leaving Jay to marry and have a family. When he learned he was dying, he told San-lian he was gay, left home and spent his last months with Jay.
San-lian keeps coming to take her son back. Discovering that Jay's mother does not know her son is gay, she threatens to tell her unless he pays, and in the end tells her anyway. Then a gang of men attacks Jay and he is badly hurt. San-lian and Cheng-xi rush him to hospital, and the truth comes out: Jay had borrowed from loan sharks to pay for an operation that might have saved Zheng-yuan, and Zheng-yuan named him on the policy to protect him from that debt.
Despite his injury, Jay returns to the theatre for the opening night, and San-lian and Cheng-xi watch the play from the audience. Afterwards Jay's mother comes to him with flowers, and they hold each other in tears. San-lian lets Jay keep the insurance money, and Cheng-xi goes home to his mother.
Starring
Roy Chiuas Jay
A theatre director and Zheng-yuan's lover, named on his insurance, who hides his grief behind a careless manner.
Jay’s story
Jay rides round town in his pyjamas, acts and directs in a small theatre, and seems to care about nothing, least of all an insurance policy he says he never knew about. Years ago he and Zheng-yuan fell in love in that theatre; Zheng-yuan left him to marry, then came back, dying, to spend his last months with him. When Zheng-yuan's son moves in uninvited, Jay grudgingly puts up with him and tells him that since his loss each day has lasted ten thousand years. San-lian threatens to tell his mother he is gay, and then does. When a gang of men breaks his leg, the truth comes out: he borrowed from loan sharks for an operation that might have saved Zheng-yuan. He goes on for the opening night anyway, and afterwards his mother comes to him with flowers.
Hsieh Ying-xuanas Liu San-lian
Zheng-yuan's wife, a fierce, anxious mother who feels her marriage was a lie and wants the insurance money back.
Liu San-lian’s story
San-lian spent years being a good wife and an anxious, exacting mother; then her husband told her he was gay and left home, and after his death the insurance she had counted on for their son goes to his lover. She storms into Jay's flat and gives him a week to pay or be exposed as the gay man who wrecked a family. At home she rules Cheng-xi's food, marks and future, and when she throws out his father's things he moves in with Jay. Resenting that her husband has made her the unloved other woman, she keeps coming for her son, and tells Jay's mother that he is gay. At the hospital, after Jay is attacked, she learns why her husband changed the policy. She watches Jay's play, lets him keep the money, and her son comes home.
Joseph Huangas Song Cheng-xi
Zheng-yuan's teenage son and the film's narrator, who runs from his mother to live with the man his father loved.
Song Cheng-xi’s story
Cheng-xi tells the story, and at first he is sure of it: his mother cares only about money, and the man his father left them for must be trouble, probably on drugs. Sick of her rules and of the counselling she sends him to, and furious when she throws out his father's things, he moves in with Jay, who does not want him, and trails him to rehearsals. Living in Jay's flat, he sees that Jay is not carefree but grieving. When a gang of men attacks Jay, Cheng-xi and his mother get him to hospital, where he learns why his father left the insurance to Jay. He watches the opening night from the audience beside his mother, and afterwards goes home with her.
Spark Chenas Song Zheng-yuan
Cheng-xi's father, seen in flashbacks, who left his family to spend his last months with Jay.
Why it matters
Dear Ex looks at a death from the side of the people a closeted man left behind: a wife who spent years as the good wife in a marriage that was not what she thought, a son who blames her, and a lover with no public place to grieve and a debt he took on for love. Its sharpest point is that all three were bereaved by the same man, and that the wife, of all people, is left feeling like the unloved other woman. The insurance money they fight over is almost the only thing in the story that has a legal name. The film won three Golden Horse Awards, including Best Leading Actress for Hsieh Ying-xuan, took Best Narrative Feature and both lead acting prizes at the Taipei Film Awards, and was Taiwan's entry for the Academy Awards. It asks what a family owes the person a husband truly loved, and answers without villains.