HOW-TO · ILLUSTRATED
Moonlight Manuals
How to actually do it: massage and touch, the pelvic floor, pleasure, talking about desire, saying yes and no, and practices of ki and breath. Practical, detailed and drawn, sourced where the body is concerned.
The erotic body
The Pelvic Floor ManualAt the base of the pelvis sits a layer of muscle slung like a hammock. It holds your organs up, controls the bladder and bowel, and during orgasm it contracts in waves: these are, quite literally, the muscles of pleasure. This manual shows you how to find them, strengthen them, release them and use them during sex, without euphemism.Research · ExperientialKnowing Your Own PleasureYour own pleasure is not something anyone can teach you; it is something you find. This manual covers how to draw your body's map, how to explore the G-spot and anal pleasure, how to live well with fantasy and desire, and what tends to change from your twenties to your fifties, step by step and in specific terms. There is no hurry. This is not an exam; it is a long journey.Research · ExperientialTouching HimMen's pleasure is often assumed to be about hard and fast. What actually works best is variety, a little unpredictability, and not hurrying. This manual covers touch with the hands and with the mouth, how to make it last, and how to grow the chemistry between you, in specific terms.Experiential · ResearchYoni Massage, Toys and Stronger OrgasmsYoni is a Sanskrit word for the vulva, and yoni massage is a slow, destination-free caress that spread through modern neo-tantra. You can do it for yourself or with a partner. The second half explains how to use a dildo or other toys to build your capacity to stay with rising arousal, and to come closer to deeper orgasms.Tradition · Experiential · ResearchNot Rushing: Edging and Pacing for TwoNot rushing is not holding back. Stopping just short of the peak, making a wave, climbing again: that is how pleasure grows longer, wider and deeper. This manual sets out the craft of pacing for two, starting with how to agree your signals.Research · Experiential
Vitality and mind
How Much Is Normal? Thinking About SexThinking about sex all day, in and out: is it healthy, and is it only you? What the research measures, and the better question to ask instead, step by step.Research · ExperientialWhen Desire Is Absent or Orgasm Doesn't ComeIf you are not interested in sex, should you push yourself? Can you be healthy without it? Does not reaching orgasm make you ill? And what do you do when you love him and are still not satisfied?Research · Experiential
Ki and breath
Hakuin’s Melting MeditationHakuin Ekaku, the eighteenth-century Zen master, wore himself out as a young monk through overzealous practice. Among the remedies he later recorded in Yasen Kanna (1757) is this one, the nanso no hō. Nanso is a soft, fragrant salve, something like fresh butter. You need nothing but somewhere to sit or lie down.Tradition · ExperientialTanden BreathingThe tanden is the point below the navel held to be the body's centre of gravity. Japanese martial arts, Zen and the tradition of yōjō (nurturing life) have all prized letting the breath drop there. This manual keeps that tradition apart from what research knows about slow breathing, then shows you how to do it.Tradition · Research · Experiential
Between two people
Talking About DesireIn a long relationship, the hardest part may be not sex itself but talking about it: sharing a fantasy, hearing "I want to be with other people," considering an open arrangement, feeling jealous. This manual is a set of tools for having those conversations honestly without breaking what you have.Research · ExperientialAsking and DecliningBeing asked, asking, and saying no happen in every sexual relationship. A request is information, and so is a refusal; neither is a verdict on love. This manual is a set of tools for protecting yourself without breaking the relationship: when a request doesn't fit your principles or your nature, when you are turned down, and when you are the one saying no.Research · ExperientialSeeking Help: Guilt, Privacy and PromisesShould you feel guilty for seeking professional help with your sexuality? And if it is outside your relationship, and you keep it to yourself, how do you think it through?Research · Experiential
Three kinds of claim
Research: Backed by clinical or laboratory studies, cited at the end. Tradition: Taught within a lineage and documented in its own texts; presented as that tradition describes it. Experiential: Works for some people and not others; offered to try, never as a promise. Every manual is general information based on the sources available to us. None is medical advice and none has been reviewed by a clinician. For your own body, health or medicines, talk to a doctor.
General information, not medical advice
The manuals are general information based on published research and the sources available to us. They are not medical advice and have not yet been reviewed by a clinician. For questions about your own body, health, medicines, pregnancy or contraception, talk to a doctor or pharmacist.
Where the manuals lead
Bodywork ResourcesThe traditions behind the techniques: fascia, nuad thai, hilot, reflexology, and Japanese regulation.WellbeingEssays on the body, desire, rest and health.Tantra ResourcesBreath, consent, couples, and what the tradition actually says.Explore the LibraryEvery essay, film and book reading, by theme.
The reading letter
Twice a week. Three pieces, then one. Chosen from what you ask for, and nothing is sold to you.