A Map of Massage

The differences are easiest to see on two axes: still or flowing, surface or depth.

Systematised in nineteenth-century Europe, Swedish massage rests on five basic strokes.

1. Effleurage: long glides with the whole palm, to open, to close and to link.
2. Pétrissage: grasping, lifting and kneading the muscle.
3. Friction: small circles with the fingertips, deep into one spot.
4. Tapotement: light, rhythmic tapping with the side of the hand or the fingertips, to wake the body up.
5. Vibration: a fine trembling with the hand resting in place.

Warm the oil in your palms first. Strokes generally travel towards the heart.

Shiatsu was born in Japan, and practising it as a business requires a national licence (anma, massage and shiatsu practitioner). This manual is for partners. Three principles:

1. Perpendicular: press straight into the surface. At an angle, the thumb slides and scuffs the skin.
2. Sustained: sink in over 3 to 5 seconds, hold, and come out just as slowly.
3. Focused: feel your partner's breathing; sink on the out-breath and the pressure goes deeper.

Use your body weight, not your arms: straighten the elbows and lean your whole body forward.

Thai massage (nuad thai), inscribed by UNESCO as intangible cultural heritage in 2019, is given clothed on a floor mat. You press with palms and thumbs along the sen, ten lines said to run through the body, and move the receiver's body into stretches.

1. Palm walking: press with alternating palms, as if walking up the legs.
2. Knee to chest: with your partner on their back, bend a knee and bring it towards the chest on the out-breath, without bouncing.
3. Don't over-stretch: stop just before the edge of comfort. Pain is a signal.

Hilot is a Filipino healing tradition. Using warm coconut oil, flowing strokes and kneading are said to release the chill and knots (lamig) held in the body. Traditionally, warmed banana leaves may be laid on the back to find where the tension sits. To bring it home:

1. Warm the oil: in a bowl of hot water, to a little above skin temperature. Patch-test any new oil on the inner arm first.
2. Lay a warm cloth on the back: leave it a few minutes, then begin where the body has warmed.
3. Long, flowing strokes: outwards from either side of the spine, and from the lower back up to the shoulders.

Fascia is the thin tissue that wraps every muscle and connects the whole body. In myofascial release you use little or no oil, catch the skin, sink slowly and wait.

1. Rest your palm and let it sink, without force.
2. Stop where the tissue resists and wait 90 to 120 seconds.
3. When you feel something soften and begin to move beneath your hand, follow it.

For trigger points (tender, "good-hurt" knots that send sensation somewhere else when pressed), give 30 to 90 seconds of quiet pressure. The research support is still limited, but many people feel a deep release.

Beyond the five schools there are other well-known techniques. The map below places eleven schools on the same two axes; the cards give each one's character and a single movement to try at home.

Techniques and relaxation methods, laid out by four aims. The dots are Moonlight's reading, combining the strength of the research support with the size of effect you can usually expect. They are not a medical grade. ●●● means well supported, ●● some support, ● limited or mostly self-reported, ○ little or no support.

A guide to choosing:

1. Can't sleep: a warm bath, slow breathing, a body scan; a long massage before bed.
2. Stiff shoulders or lower back: shiatsu or anma, myofascial release, stretching.
3. Fatigue that won't lift: start with sleep; use oil massage or a bath to get ready to rest.
4. Anxious and unsettled: progressive muscle relaxation, autogenic training, breathing. The more you practise briefly every day, the better they work.
5. Fatigue lasting weeks, strong pain, night after night without sleep: see a doctor before any technique.

Which school suits which part of the body: use the map and the cards below as a guide.

Arousal grows out of relaxation more than out of tension: genital blood flow is driven by the parasympathetic nervous system, the part that lets the body rest. So a long massage is the best preparation for pleasure there is.

1. Prepare (5 minutes): a warm room (24–26°C), towels, warmed oil. Breathe together slowly, three times.
2. The back (20 minutes): Swedish effleurage to open, pétrissage to go deeper; shiatsu along either side of the spine.
3. Lower back and glutes (10 minutes): fascia holds and trigger points.
4. Legs and feet (15 minutes): Thai palm walking, shiatsu on the soles.
5. Face up (10 minutes): arms and hands, clockwise circles on the belly, chest and collarbones.
6. Approach and retreat (10 minutes): the inner thighs, around the groin, the lower belly, drawing a little closer and away again.
7. Ask: "Shall I keep going?" If the answer is yes, continue with The Pelvic Floor Manual, Touching Him or Knowing Your Own Pleasure. "I'd like to sleep here" is an equally good answer.

Oil weakens latex condoms. Before moving on to sex, wipe your hands or switch to a water- or silicone-based lubricant.

Avoid strong pressure or deep work with a fever or illness, straight after an injury or inflammation, over varicose veins, when taking blood thinners, with osteoporosis, and after drinking. In pregnancy, avoid pressure on the belly and don't press the points traditionally avoided (Hegu, Sanyinjiao, Jianjing). Never press the spine itself, the front of the throat or the back of the knee. Ask for pressure on a scale of 1 to 10 and aim for 5 to 7.